this is a rather interesting topic. it touches on a few different areas, which are all as equally interesting as the one preceding it. so lets dive right on in, shall we.
a cheater. what defines a cheater? just so we are all on the same page, im talking about people who can not remain faithful to their significant other. i would say that is a pretty general definition of a cheater.
now, the next question begging to be answered, is what causes men/women to cheat? first, lets talk about men, simply because i am one and it is a bit easier for me to get into the male psyche. first we have to understand what the man wants. this is normally very difficult because the majority of men have no friggen idea what they want in general let alone in a relationship. so, in stating that, we can vaguely say that a male is……like a dog with his little pink thing hanging out, running from woman to woman. partly we can not blame the men for doing this, it is instinctual, as men we are programmed to want to spread our seed as much as we possibly can to ensure that we do not die out. well, that answer may have been just well and fine a few hundred years ago, but in todays day and age, with the population soaring out of control and with the amount of STD’s, its simply no longer an excuse.
just because it should no longer be an excuse certainly doesn’t mean that men don’t still use it. ive heard one story of this gentleman who stated that he ‘just loves women, all types of women’; this was his justification for having sex with woman, many of them, and not having a relationship with them. and while loving the female body and personality is one thing, a fantastic thing even, it is certainly another to disrespect these woman by using them for sexual pleasures only to move to another the day after. when a man has no respect for a woman, most specifically a woman whom he knows little of, this is a man who respects nothing and certainly a man who does not respect himself. it is unfortunate that society has began to teach young children that it is OK to objectify women and even more disheartening than that is the fact that most woman are OK with this. this is very easily proven by simply taking a walk to your local Mall or perhaps your local College Campus. the way in which the majority of females dress themselves is so that they may be objectified, so that they can be noticed, to stick out and draw attention. now, while i am not saying that people should not dress to impress, they should definitely dress to leave some to the imagination. side note: i’ve not even had my first high school reunion and ill say this, the girls didnt look like THAT when i was in high school; and thank god too!
joseph, you may ask, what is it that allows some men to be faithful and others to wander so? well, that is a pretty damn good question. i think it would boil down to the simplest of things, one which i actually mentioned up above. that would be the instinctive drive i was referring to, as i stated we all (males) have this drive; now those of us who value a relationship more over a simple lay in the hay, those are going to be the ones who will remain faithful. another big thing is that a lot of males do not face consequences for their actions. they do what they want, perhaps get yelled at a bit, but the women, albeit foolishly, takes that man back. please, ladies, for the sake of the rest of your gender, make these cheating men pay consequences, if there are never consequences to any action they have no reason to ever change their actions. plain and simple, treat them like 2 year old, or better yet, like that dog with his little pink thing hanging out! haha.
what can you do to make sure you man doesn’t cheat? this is perhaps the easiest thing to say, yet perhaps the most difficult to follow through with. trust him. take all the faith you may have in your friends, family, dog, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, second cousin, take all that faith and trust and put it in your boyfriend. have faith in him that he would never hurt you and trust him when he says he wont. this will do 2 things effectively. the first, and perhaps most obvious, is to make it known that you trust him, there by eliminating any confusion as to the status of your relationship. and secondly, you put the ‘ball’ , so to speak, in his court (provided you are as trustworthy as him) and you allow him to make his own decisions instead of being swayed in one direction or the other as to what he thinks he could get away with. basically, what you are trying to do when you convey your feelings of trust is you are trying to get that little voice inside his head to perk up and say ‘whoa whoa whoa, trust? what’s this trust all about?’ there by, each time he has a thought of you he will associate that thought with trust. if he should break the trust then you know, immediately, that he is not worthy of your trust. the consequences may be as severe as completely cutting off all ties to a slap on the wrist (i suppose it is dependent upon the situation) but please, whatever you do, do not take him back with no consequences. lets say you have a puppy, 12-15weeks old and your in the potty training stage. if that pup happens to P on the carpet what do you do? most likely you give him a slap on the bum or you pick him up and rush him outside and make him sit there. either way, there is a consequence. you would never expect the puppy to learn to P outdoors if you didn’t correct him and likewise with your significant other. now im not saying you slap him on the bum when he does something wrong, but i think you get my drift: Every action has consequences. The consequences are either Good or Bad. But rest assured, there are always consequences.
i think that will do it for the male aspect of things, for now at least. ill have the female perspective up here in a few days, weeks, or months. depends on how much research i can get done! hope you enjoy the article and the site!
