why?
yes, i understand that, but why is it so?
right, and i agree, yet i would like to know why it is happening, not simply that it is.
i certainly can be annoying. always and forever asking why. wanting to know more and wanting to get to the core of the issue as opposed to just skirting around it and knowing enough to get by; which is funny because as i recall my young years of academia all i did was enough to get by, never tried in school, never read a book, or studied for a test. and, yet somehow, i was OK with it. i read somewhere ’specialization is for insects’, how right he is.
to question is to understand. unless one understands the world around them without question, which is rarely the case. questioning oneself is the first step in personal responsibility. this is something i find not enough people are committed to. i find people, generally speaking, are ok with just floating through life. simply waking and rising, toiling and working. only to discover that the monotony of life is all too monotonous. working for the weekend, as it were. why?? why must i work for the weekend? what is it that the weekend desires from me? to harbor my good times and feelings? (did you know that it rains more on wekend days than it does on weekdays? work for what you must. get out and enjoy the day) question yourself. why do you get up each morning? simply to work? simply to meet your financial obligations? do you enjoy your job? no? why not? and if you don’t why the hell are you working there?
yes, it is true we must all work. unless you have a nice cushy trust or a suga mama/papa. however, what people fail to realize is that their happiness is solely up to them. and it all begins with questioning. question yourself. if you’ve been at the same job for 30 years, question whether its still all worth it. if you’ve lived in one place your entire life, question if the world is something you wish to see.
if you never question yourself how are you ever to know who you are and what you want? also, continual questioning leads to less forgetting of what is important to you in your life. at one point in time in my life i thought i had it all. an expensive luxury car, a fast and sleek sports car, my own home, a well paying job and vacationed on a whim. (also ladies were easier to come by) now, while i sincerely miss the extravagant vacationing, i miss nothing else. once i lost my job, that high paying and even higher stressed job, i lost the car. i lost the house. i kept my dog. (i was able to keep the sports car, but only because it was paid off. now it sits lonely in a garage miles from me) that point and time in my life was the most trying ever (so far). i remember being so depressed, so pissed off at the world and at life that i would lay in bed. i remember thinking ‘ i’ve no reason to get out of bed, so why bother?’. i would lay there and let the morning pass into the afternoon and finally i would move. showering, may be. thinking, rarely. i became void of all thoughts. of a reason to live. of life and of love. still, today as i type i get chills all up and down my body. it hurts to remember. it hurts that i could be so unlike me and be fine with it.
along with the help of my family, and perhaps a single friend, i overcame. i questioned it all. and still do until this day. i wake each morning and live for the day. each day that i allow to pass by is one which i shall never get a second chance at. every morning i wake up and ask myself if i am living the life i want to live; in general terms, of course i cant change something such as credit card bills or car payments. i ask if i am who i want to be. am i showing the world the person that i know i am?
we all have but one life to live yet we go through our lives putting things off until the next day and the next day and the next. until the days have passed. they grow shorter. the nights longer. why? why aren’t you out there living the life you want?
