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“Because I think I’m gross.”  Why?  Why would a gorgeous, intelligent, sexy, fun loving, caring, giving young woman in her prime say such a thing?  Not because shes ‘gross’, no for I love this woman with all that I am.  No, it’s because she is overweight.  And honestly, who cares!  Those that love you do so for everything that you are.  Even the extra 5-10, or however-many, pounds!  And those that Judge you, love them.  All that  matters is Happiness & Love.  If you cannot be happy with who you are and how you look you will never love yourself.  If you can never love yourself you can never be loved, fore you will feel unworthy.  And to not experience love may be the greatest Tragedy of them all.

People who judge are, by and large, afraid.  They are people who harbor fear in their hearts.  Fear of themselves becoming overweight, fear of judgement, fear they won’t get that promotion or that Personal Parking Space they’ve had their eyes on.  Fear is the root of all evil.  Without fear, there can be no evil.  Without evil, what a wonderful world it would be.

So, why do so many of us have a Negative self image?  Why, instead of loving who we are, what we are and where we are do we chose to hate who we are, never understand what we are and constantly want to be somewhere else?  Why can’t we just be happy loving ourselves for Who we are?

To start with, I believe Introspection can help.  I have written a post about Introspection and its importance, it can be found here.  I will write a follow-up to that soon as well.

Introspection is the self-observation and reporting of conscious inner thoughts, desires and sensations.  (per wiki)

Another definition is simply  Constantly asking yourself Why.  Why am I unhappy?  Is it my job?  My house?  My car?  Is it Me?  If it is my job, what can I do about it?  If it’s me (heaven forbid!) what can I start to do Today to make changes?  Is it something in my past?  Am I holding onto something I should release and let go of?

This is not an easy process.  On the contrary, it can be very difficult.  Especially as you start asking yourself the hard questions.  Questions you are sure you know the answers too, yet don’t want to hear.  Emotions will be brought up, and it is important not to suppress them.  They are important in the process of forgiveness and moving forward.  Cry, laugh, giggle, scream, hollar, hoot, do whatever you have to.  Do whatever feels right.

I despise thieving.  To the core of my being, it bothers me.  Often at work I find that food will come up missing.  Drinks will be drunk.  That sort of thing.  And it has always bothered me, worse than a bother really, it’s a thorn in my side.  I never really thought much about it as, well, stealing is wrong.  Duh.

One day, it hit me.   I had not yet forgiven myself for my past actions.  You see, I used to steal.  I used to steal a lot.  I was lost then.  Boy, was I lost.  I was looking for acceptance where ever I could find it.  Stealing, lying, cheating…anything to gain acceptance.  How young, dumb and full of…ambition.   I, like us all, must embrace my past, not hide it, forget about it, hate it and try to bury it.  Emotions are often brought to the surface, not necessarily to make us relive the pain, but to make us confront the pain.  To allow us to confront ourselves.  ”It’s OK.  I forgive you and I love you.  It’s OK.  I love you. It was not your fault.  You did everything you could, ect…”  This is how the process of forgiving oneself starts.  From here, who knows.  The next steps are up to the individual.  I think it best to understand first, and then let the questioning begin.  How can you question yourself about your issues if you are unsure of what they are?

And, as always, remember the love and light in your own life.  Remember the ones who have always been there for you.  Remember the ones who are there to lend a hand when needed.  Remember the good in everyone, for we all have good in us.  Sometimes it’s just buried, lost, confused, misunderstood, or just looking for acceptance.

Be yourself, no matter what they say.

~Sting; Englishman in NY 

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